I’m so sorry you had to go through all that, Will. I can relate in some ways, like the toxic, narcissist mom part. I had an absent dad, so I wasn’t physically hurt by a man, and that must have been so scary.

The Hollywood things aren’t what I experienced, but I was also used for free labor .

She had my brother when I was 10 and I more or less raised him. She was a neatness freak, and she let all her rage out on me when I didn’t do a good enough job making the house immaculate. Her demands were so tough that I dropped out of school.

I had a really crappy experience being her daughter, so I went full no contact a handful of months ago. I’m widowed with 3 kids, and I thought her presence in their lives was better than nothing. It finally took her bullying my 10 year old (calling her fat and pulling her hair) for me to find the courage to leave her behind.

It must have been so hard being expected to supply your mom with money, and to perform in a way that supplied her need for attention, instead of people appreciating you for it. Those of us with toxic moms know how they make everything about them, and I can’t begin to imagine working long hours and having your mom be a thunder thief.

I also really related to how you you said she had to have the outside world admire how perfect the family was. For so many of us with narc moms, that was one of the hardest parts. Everyone loving your abuser is so hurtful and confusing. It breaks my heart that you never felt like a special son as a little kid. I wish I could go back in time to all the kids who didn’t feel like someone’s special son or daughter, (including 6 yr old me), tell them they are special, amazing, and important to the world…and say that it’ll get better.

I’m glad you answered this call to write about ACE. It’ll help a ton of people.

I really hope your life is becoming yours and that you are feeling better all the time.

I hope you are getting to do things that bring you happiness and purpose, now that it’s about you, and not your parents.