I think you describe, quite perfectly, a marriage that is a healthy relationship, and not the BS “perfect love” crap we are sold as soon as we’re old enough to watch our first rom-com: codependency. Even though I was never into those types of movies or books, it was written into the fibers that make up the fabric of my reality (through osmosis, or something.) I loved my late husband, and we had a great relationship, but the last several years of our marriage were better than the first years we were together. It was because I had to learn, then unlearn codependency. Of course I thought we were supposed to complete each other, that ever sexual encounter was supposed to be a meeting of the souls, and just as lurid and dirty as it was special and beautiful. We are supposed to be each other’s everything, right? Im about the same age as you, and I feel we were sold this line of BS that was so damaging that it takes true love of each other, self and commitment to overcome those ideas. I felt the same as you: if I couldn’t get excited about Russian literature, I’d rather someone else did, even if it was another woman. I wanted him to be ok with me talking about the less sophisticated Stephen King or Vonnegut that I was reading without him feeling threatened. I really, really loved this article.